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Bimbotic Bird Hater!

Ramblings of a randomness junkie

Monday, July 12, 2004

Nightmares...

It’s baffling how dreams can seem so real at that time. I’ve had many queer dreams but I’ve never had ones as horribly traumatic as the ones on Saturday night…well not as far as I can recall. Anyway…the first one had to do with a duck…or was it a damn goose? I can’t remember…it was definitely a long neck from the family of those fugly creatures called birds. Ermm…I remember squatting opposite one. Whatever possessed me to position myself within THAT proximity and tht height…I have NO inkling! Grr… and I can’t remember who that damn creature was stood next to. That someone was threatening to provoke the bird to flutter to me and I distinctly remember protesting. But stupid me should have ran MILES away instead I think I just remained squatting and squirming. Then…true enough the creature fluttered and started pecking my neck….GROSS! I still shudder at the thought. Eew! I really, really hate birds! Ok…I fear them…

That was a disgusting dream. But another weird, kinda freaky dream followed. There was a friend. He had committed murder (insane I know!!) I’m not sure how I found out about it (of course I wasn’t supposed to find out!) but then when I confronted him, he threatened to call the police and turn me in as the murderer. All I remember doing was remonstrating and crying A LOT! I think my mind was paralysed by fear. I felt so helpless. I don’t know what happened after that. The next thing I remembered was waking up and realising that it had been a nightmare.

It had seemed so real…Oh well…I’m recuperating…Haha! It’s no biggie anyway… Let’s hope nightmares NEVER come true. Urghh…

Sunday, July 04, 2004

What to do??

I’m back in Malaysia. The last few weeks of uni were unexpectedly hectic and busy. There were just so many things to settle. Yes and Vee came back earlier than we were told…which is a good thing J But now that I’m back in Malaysia…I can easily say that my social life has perished. *Sniff* Anyway…a VERY small part of me is glad to be back…but the rest of me wants to be back in England…I suppose what I want most is my freedom…not having to devote my time to church and being shouted at for going out.

Things I DO NOT miss about England:
-The ease of birds (especially pigeons) to flutter and roam anywhere they want without fearing humans
-The fact that I don’t have to do any work, nor do I have to attend lectures nor seminars
-The terrible bland food
-The fact that one pound equals 7 ringgit
-Not having a TV nor an Astro set
-Their lack of shopping malls

Things I DO miss about England:
-My lovely, awesome friends
-My FREEDOM
-Not being imprisoned
-My fast Warwick connection
-DC ++
-Ben & Jerry’s Choc Fudge Brownie
-My Freedom
-Shopping and finding clothes in MY size
-Going to Tesco (hee hee)
-The unpredictability of the weather
-Not having to share a room
-The cute, well-built BLONDE guys with the bluest eyes
-Kit Kats
-The variety of books
-The fact they don’t censor every damn kissing scene
-Will & Grace
-Wearing what I want without feeling TOO self- conscious
-Soul Nations
-Pilot, Fopp, H & M
-Millie’s Cookies
-My freedom!

I think I could deal with my life here if I wasn’t allowed to go out regularly but it’s terrible to be subjected to that AND being forced to go to church on both Friday nights and devoting the WHOLE of bloody Saturday to church activities. I feel so suffocated. Grr…Sometimes I’m more infuriated than sad. I just want to live my life the way I want to not the way my parents want me to. I’ve only been back a week and already it’s killing me…at times I’m tempted to argue. But will I ever get sent back to UK? If it wasn’t for this whole religion thing, I’d be happy to come back…but I’m not. I hate to complain…tht’s all I ever seem to do these days. What shall I do? Any suggestions?