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Bimbotic Bird Hater!

Ramblings of a randomness junkie

Sunday, May 29, 2005

A Bird Revolution?

I think there's bird stuck in my chimney...I hear cooing coming from my fireplace... No seriously...I am NOT imagining things! A bird!! My worst nightmare...in my ROOM! Can you imagine? Though I havent slept in my room for 2 nights...I am petrified! What if I sleep and am awoken by a grotesque creature fluttering frantically...ACK! THe proximity would just kill me! I think I would jump out of my skin! I do not feel at ease being alseep in my room anymore...Ack! Oh the fear! I promise...I am NOT imagining things... I DETEST BIRDS...hmphh...the evil, evil, evil creatures. Let me remind you...birds are deceiving and conniving creatures I tell you... they may seem like the most bimbotic things ever...but...beware! They'll seize the opportunity to make one's life a living hell by not keeping their distance! I know so! Grrrrrrrrrrrr... such abhorrent things!

Hmm... I was asked whether Big Bird instilled any fear in me... No... Why? Because Big Bird personifies some amiable old lady with very blonde hair and loud leggings (think bright pink and blue stripes)! How cute! And...also...I've never seen a yellow bird... Hmm...I conclude Sesame Street's representation of birds arent too accurate I must say! Please, do you get birds taller than the average adult? Hmm...Kids' shows...Trying to sugarcoat everything... Tsk Tsk! Stop with idealism...whip out reality I say!

So...
REMEMBER! Big Bird is just a delusion...In actual fact...birds are preying at every corner ready to flutter and launch attack! They're vindictive creatures... Remember...BIRDS ARE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!

Though...now I do wonder...maybe not in our livetimes...What IF BIRDS do mutate...and they actually do grow into these GIGANTIC creatures? And...with their malevolence and their vengeful nature...they persevere to conquer the human world (Think I-Robots but instead of robots...ENORMOUS birds)! All the pecking...All the fluttering...All the feathers...All the cooing...All the breaks! ARGHHHHHHHH....GET ME OUT OF THIS! I feel claustrophobic! *Choke!*

HMPH!!!! This is why I think people should STOP FEEDING THE DAMN CREATURES! We need to debilitate their potential to endanger the human race...QUICK! Before it's too late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh...A Bird Revolution?! No...I must be dreaming...Arghhh...someone wake me up!!!

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